BTS: Love Yourself
by R0zes743
Summary: Jungkook went to war and returned scarred for life. Persuaded he'll never encounter love because of his unfortunate accident, he wanders in a foreign country where he hopes to be happy again. Will someone be able to go pass his appearance and love him for who he truly is? Inspired by the Disney version of the Hunchback of Notre-Dame (the second movie)
1. Chapter 1

She ran. Tears stung her eyes as they blurred her vision. Breathing hard due to the constant burning in her lungs, she kept on advancing; reaching a familiar place she used to go whenever she felt like crying.

The stars shone in the sky as they danced in its darkness. The bright full moon was the only thing lighting the path that led her to her little shelter.

The little rocks crunched under her black converses as she passed the always open gate. The quiet of the place was suddenly broke by her sobs. As she wiped away the endless water flooding like a fountain from her eyes, she slowly sat down on a firm wooden board, taking hold of the old ropes passing through holes on each of its side. Pushing through the sand with her sneakers, she gave herself a slow swing. As she gained height on the seesaw, stretching her toes to their maximum as if to reach the stars, she then again took in the sky's splendid view.

Millions of little white spots were sparkling all around that immensity of nothingness as she was getting lost in its infinity, bracing herself with the slow movement of the seesaw. The dried salty water covering her puffy cheeks left a weird sensation on her pale skin, something bitter.

The argument with her parents had yet again ended with her running away from them as they tried breaking her dreams one after another with the cruelty of what they called the real world. The memory left goosebumps on her arms as the fresh air of the night bit at her skin.

Breathing softly, she felt remorse urged her to go back home, to apologize. But, the rebellious side of herself told her to stay, to fight for her passions and dreams. She already knew anyway what was awaiting her at home, more yelling, more crying, and maybe the end of her music classes.

She wasn't ready to face that.

As the seesaw came to a halt, she pressed her palms against each other and prayed for her parents to understand, for her passion to take part in her fantasy and their reality. Dropping down the seesaw, she came to a halt as small rays of sunshine pierced the darkness surrounding her.

 _The break of dawn_

Amazed, she glared at the small amount of light emerging from some far away grounds. As the sun stretched, ready to start the day, her eyes started closing in extreme slumber as she started walking back home, the reassuring warmth of the sun against her back comforting.

Silently entering her house, she felt relieved nobody was up yet. As she climbed the stairs quietly, she entered her little cavern and fell asleep holding tightly her plushies.

- **X-**

Madeleine awoke to the sound of her cellphone. A soft music was playing, feeling the place with some sort of peace. Rubbing her eyes, she sat in her bed breathing calmly as she prepared herself to confront her angry parents.

Grasping her admission in a special music program, she quickly made it to the kitchen as she heard her little sister talking happily about her plans to get a pricy job. Madeleine looked at her parents, as she saw sparkles of joy whenever they looked at her.

Madeline coughed to make her presence known and noticed the happiness changing to burning anger as their eyes met hers. The little flickers of joy had slowly vanished and left the place to empty dark holes piercing through her whole soul.

"I got accepted in my music program" she quietly said and quit the place quickly, stealing a full box of cereal she would probably eat in her bedroom without even an ounce of milk.

Slowly closing the door behind her, she let herself fall onto her comfy bed and waited for her parents to go to work leaving her alone with her sister that would soon go at some friend's house.

Procrastinating in bed, she finally glanced at her violin resting peacefully between her nightstand and desk, hiding from the wrath of her relatives.

Madeleine picked the wooden instrument and started playing a tragic melody talking about broken hearts and healing through music.

She played the whole day.

Hearing a familiar entrance door opening, she slowly placed the instruments back at its place and went down the stairs greeting rapidly her relatives and quickly went back upstairs.

A while later, the family reunited at the dining table, an awkward silence weighing on their non-existent conversations. Not truly hungry, Madeleine mostly picked at her food, moving it sideways in her plate, barely eating. She could feel their eyes upon her, sending her warnings about what had yet to come.

"It is out of the question." Her dad said flatly expecting her to take in the bad news and move on to science as he wanted her to.

A storm of words where making their way through her mind, ready to slip on her tongue, but she doubted it would make any difference in their final decision.

"You have to understand the difference between a hobby and a career" Her mother added on that same desperate yet formal tone.

"That, I have already figured out. This is why I chose that program, as I have already told you for a million of times before" She said, trying to hide the edges in her voice the best she could.

"And we have told you a million of times that you would end up in the street pursuing a career as a violinist. We love you too much to see you suffer." Her mother tried.

"And if you did love me as you pretend, then you would let me pursue my dreams and let me make my own mistakes. If you always overprotect me, I will never do anything good in life. Plus, I'd rather end up in the street because I tried than not have given a shot at what I love." Madeleine answered, the conversation already starting to heat up.

"That is complete nonsense" Her father screamed.

"You want to know what complete nonsense is? Forcing me to do something I hate and not giving me any alternatives." She talked back

"It is for your future" He responded.

"What future? What if I died today or tomorrow? You never know what can happen." She yelled back.

"Don't say horrible things like that!" Her mom panicked.

"Anyway, it isn't as if somebody would miss me! I'm not hungry." She said leaving the table.

"Where are you going? This discussion is not over." He inquired

"That is not what I call a discussion. That is named dictatorship." She sneered as she made it to the front door.

"Where-are-you-going?" He repeated

"That is none of your business." She answered

"It is as long as you are living here at home."

"That is not home, its jail. Where there'll be music, I will feel like home." She said smiling.

And with that she left.

 **-X-**

The park came into view yet again, but this time, tears were not at the corner of her eyes. Anger was combusting her from the inside. She wanted to punch them both in the face for their closed minds.

But even though she wouldn't admit it to them directly, she knew that their speeches held truths. If she didn't achieve in this domain she could indeed end up in a bad situation such as living in the streets or in a small apartment with the worst conditions. But to give it a shot, she was ready to risk it. After all, she could still come back to school afterwards.

If she succeeded, she would prove them all that they were wrong.

As she looked yet again at the stars as she regained her place on the seesaw, she prayed yet again, this time for a chance at music, at a career.

"Please, send me somebody that could guide me, a sign" she said ending her prayer with the usual Amen.

As she opened her eyes, she heard voices.

 _Could that be the sign I am looking for?_

She turned her head around, trying to find where the voices were coming from.

She stopped dead.

There was a hooded figure sitting on a nearby bench, alone… Interpreting diverse voices as different roles…


	2. Chapter 2

Madeleine looked flabbergasted at the stranger sitting on the wooden bench, his face completely covered by the black and stiff fabric.

He was wearing what seemed to be old rags. His hands were bandaged seriously and covered in a dark mixture Madeleine couldn't identify because of the darkness surrounding both of them.

As she listened carefully, Madeleine caught some bribes of information concerning the weird dialogue occurring between the person's invented characters.

"Ugly…"

"Personality…"

"Monster…"

"Love…"

He was speaking in such a low voice Madeleine had to stop moving on the seesaw to catch a simple sound and assumed she had heard correctly. Judging by what she had heard so far, the person wasn't from Canada, since she had a strong accent she couldn't associate to a country in particular.

Madeleine observed the strange shadow as if some of her physical traits could help her trace his origin. She noticed long loose bangs covering the major parts of his head which was bent low hiding his full face. The darkness couldn't help her decipher its colour, but she still assumed they were darker than simply brown.

Madeleine finally decided to drop down of the seesaw in a noiseless jump. As if on cue, the stranger lifted up his head, and even though Madeleine couldn't see fully his face, she knew that under those bushy bangs, the person was glancing at her. What type of look he was sending her, that, she couldn't identify, but somehow, it made her feel uncomfortable. As if these eyes could not only pierce her simple clothes, but even go deep within her soul.

The first image that came to her mind was that of a young person she had read about in some fiction book, which eyes were deep black pearls that seemed empty. Yet, if you looked closely, you could see a burning flame in them, in that case, the burning of love and compassion.

But she doubted it was the case with this weirdo.

Madeleine managed some quiet steps. Even if she wanted to escape his glance, and get out of the shelter that had quickly became a prison of fear in the instant of a few seconds, she had to go past him, the only entrance to that park beside her. Gulping and breathing hard, Madeleine took more rapid steps closing in the distance separating them.

The silence was unbearable.

So was his glare which she could feel as the chill making the hair on her arms rise all at once.

The gate was mere steps away from her as much as what she considered a potential danger for her life.

She kept on walking, not breaking her eye contact with what stood beside the iron gate. As her sweaty palm touched the cold metal of the barrier slightly opened for her to pass, she observed the person moving, slowly standing up.

This was her signal. She sprinted out of the place faster than she thought she could. The fear was caught up in her throat, keeping her cry from escaping her lips safely inside.

Her home in view, Madeleine managed a quick glanced back to see if the shadow was following her. She felt relief submerged her as the view was clear of anybody. Entering her house, quickly brushing her teeth and changing into her lucky pajamas, not bothering to wash, she slipped in bed, wiping the fresh sweat covering her face in her warm jasmine scented covers.

The rush of adrenaline slowly leaving her body and the security of the walls protecting her crashing in, she felt the sleep clawing at her and let herself go, not realizing the effort it had taken her to maintain a certain control on her actions.

- **X-**

She decided to go back, again at night.

Even though she felt it was a bad idea.

Because there was no way a stranger would keep her away from her little shelter.

No way she gave what felt like home because of fear.

She was tired of being a coward and not confronting the real problems she would have to face one day.

It was time for her to fight for what she loved no matter the consequences.

With that train of thoughts, she entered the park.

Concentrated on the stranger that might pop out of thin air, she didn't notice the slippery ground nor did she understood when the world vacillated and went dark for a few seconds.

She lifted her head, pain thumping like a heartbeat against her skull.

Her butt was on the floor, sand scraping her hands as the person was standing above her. She wanted to scream, seeing her life passing in front of her as she thought she might die on the spot.

Or worse.

Madeleine closed her eyes, preparing for whatever was going to happen to her in the next seconds, her body unable to move, frozen by fear.

She waited.

And waited.

But nothing came.

With a surge of courage, she slowly managed to open her eyes. The scene in front of her might have been enough to make her faint.

The person was still standing beside her, a palm reaching out to help her up.

Madeleine didn't move.

The stranger seeing the fear in her eyes and the way her chest heaved up fast practically making her hyperventilate, backed up a bit and rested his butt back on the bench. The next second, he was hugging his knees firmly and rocking slightly murmuring things so low, that even with Madeleine's proximity to him, she couldn't identify a single word.

Madeleine stared, waiting for the worst to come as she was laying there defenseless.

But the stranger didn't even try a move in her direction.

 _That's weird…_

Madeleine started thinking about the whole thing, wondering if she might have been mistaken on the intentions of the person.

Thinking it through, still stuck to the ground by fear, she decided to test out her theory. Gulping noisily and breathing evenly to calm her body shaking, she moved her tongue against her teeth trying to humidify her mouth that was dry as a desert.

"You" she managed, looking straight at the bangs which she supposed were hiding his eyes.

No answer

"You there" she continued, this time managing to point at the person's chest.

No answer

"You speak English? She tried yet again, as a terrible feeling of doing the wrong thing was gnawing at her limbs.

He nodded.

First answer, man this was going to be long.

Madeleine, then tried to think about something to tell him, but nothing came to her mind. It was all blank.

She opened her mouth and let the first words that came out of it to start up a conversation.

 _That way, she thought, I might be able to buy myself some time until my body works again…_

"What's your favourite color?"

Realizing what she had just asked, even with the fear, she managed to feel the fire burning her whole face at the stupidity of her question. She felt as if the stranger could even see how bright red her cheeks were at the moment.

"Black" answered a grave voice, which was pretty ironic considering he was wearing an all-black outfit, at least judging by what Madeleine's eyes perceived.

But what had caught the most her attention wasn't actually the answer, but mostly the tone of the voice that had answered it.

It was soft, yet really low and totally impossible for a girl to own.

"You're a guy" Madeleine squeaked as the surprise of reality hit her plainly.

Nod.

"Well I'm a girl" she responded, the only thing she could think of.

 _Stupid._

"Okay" he answered, something in his voice pointing out a restrained laugh.

"What's your name?" she inquired, trying to pick up the broken pieces of her honour scattered farther away from her at each and exact word she pronounced.

"Satan" he answered

"Kinda unconventional" Madeleine commented.

Nod.

"What made your parents think of that name?" she whispered.

"Not my real name"

As Madeleine was about to formulate another question he continued:

"People call me this way when they see me"

Madeleine's heart stopped for a second.

"YOU'RE A CRIMINAL?" she screamed finally regaining her voice, which surprised the man slightly.

"Sort of…"

"POLICE! SAVE ME!"

The man pressed quickly his hand to her mouth, blocking the screams and turning them into mere groans.

"The police won't arrest me. I didn't do anything illegal. I just regret some parts of my past alright!"

Madeleine slowly regained her composure, enough for him to leave her mouth alone.

She managed to stagger away from his reach.

"Don't touch me you filthy criminal."

Madeleine swore she saw hurt flash trough his face even though it was hidden by hair.

The man sighed heavily.

"Don't come near me or I swear the cops will come after you and this time you will go to jail and be accused of doing something illegal."

"What am I doing wrong?"

"First you talk to me and then you shut me out with that bandaged hand of yours. I better not be sick or you'll feel sorry!"

"Hold on a minute, you are the one who started this whole talking thing and I didn't have a choice but to make you shut your mouth or the cops would have thought that I was molesting you or something"

"Because that wasn't was you were planning on doing?" she shot back

"Of course not! Do I look that suspicious?"

"Says the creepy dude talking to himself in different voices, alone on a bench, all dressed in black in the middle of the night."

No answer

"It's actually four in the morning" he finally answered, not losing his composure but still trying not to tarnish his honour.

 _Wow._

"You really are annoying. Anyway, I am going home! Don't even think about following me"

"Not really what I was planning on doing"

"Liar"

"You think I like following little kids home or what?" he shot back insulted by the liar statement.

"Maybe, who knows what strange hobbies you are into"

"Look, I like kids, but not in that way"

"You surely are not helping your case right now."

"I like women alright!"

"Good for you. I actually like people my age."

"What do you mean"

"Judging by your voice you are what… Twenty? Maybe you should think about getting yourself a girl around that age, not forty or more... Just a friendly advice"

"For your information I am twenty-one!"

"You talk like a three year old"

"And you like a…"

"Go flirting with your cougar women. I am going to sleep."

"Better get yourself a nice job…"

Madeleine turned around, hatred flashing in her brown eyes.

 _Another one trying to turn my dream down without even knowing it…_

"After all, the guy that will be stuck with you will need all the money on Earth to endure you!" He said and slouched in a sleeping position on the bench.

"You will still be sleeping on benches when I will be the most popular violinist known from all around the world."

And with that, she left.

 **-X-**

Madeleine woke up, guilt ripping her soul to shreds. Maybe that man she had seen last night was homeless. It was a cruel thing to wish him to stay poor… Horrible.

"I called in another college. Because of your excellent grades, they are ready to get you a place in the science and math enrich program." A familiar voice told her from the door of her room.

"Then I shall call right away because it wouldn't be really nice to never show up right, after all of the efforts, they did to save a place for me. "

"That is not an option. You don't have a choice. Science will get you a nice job. You will have money and you will be happy. You have the talent to accomplish everything you want to be. Don't make such a terrible mistake. Do you really wish to end up in the streets like…"

"Look at our family. I could have anything that I wish for, even a car. You are rich, but are you happy? "

"…"

"No you are not and you want to know why? Because you are not living in a happy marriage. Mom only chose you for your money and even though you deny it, you know I am right. You try to forget the number of time she cheated on you with other guys, just because you are afraid to be alone. She is only using you and your money…"

"…"

"Are you happy to do a pricy job that you hate? Don't pretend! I hear you each and every morning whining about how boring your job is! But you are right! We don't live in the streets and we can have any material things we want!"

"…"

"But have you thought about the things that cannot be bought? A career in music which necessitates a whole lot of hardworking, for example. Or maybe love between two people regardless of their genders? Or family bonding? No you haven't! Because you still think that forcing me into choosing a pricy career over the one I would love to do is the right choice to make. And to be honest, I am sick of it!"

"You will start in two weeks"

Screaming her lungs out, Madeleine ran out of the house.

She entered the park and swung on the seesaw furiously.

As tears poured on her cheeks, she slowly took in her surroundings.

She looked at the little kids playing with their parents, wide smiles on their mouths, cheeks red from the running and happiness. She heard their gentle laughs as they ran everywhere, never stopping to even catch their breaths.

The air was filled with their joy and somehow, it made her stop crying.

It made her wish to someday be in that park, with a loving husband and many kids. And, as she would play the violin, their father would form a circle with them and make them dance on the melody she had created. They would accompany her with their cute little singing and endless laughs…

She smiled.

And suddenly, she caught a black shadow resting on the same bench as yesterday.

His head was propped in his open palm. The sun was barely catching a bit of his tan skin. And yet something else made her look even more. Something she hadn't noticed back then in the dark. His full mouth was curled upward showing off bright white teeth.

He was smiling broadly looking at the little kids running.

The grin wasn't mean though. It was childish and so wide she could fully see all of his front teeth.

Somehow, it didn't look out of place at all either. The way it fitted so perfectly on his face as he looked at the young ones running as if somehow it had always meant to be there…

She could feel an aura of joy surrounding him, slowly dispersing the somber one she thought was permanently by his side.

And it was beautiful.


	3. Chapter 3

Madeleine jumped down the see-saw. Her sneakers were full of sand, but right now, she didn't care. Her eyes were drawn to that smile, that happiness that seemed to destroy the immense amount of sadness cumulated in her life these past few days.

She wanted to talk again to that stranger. That guy, she thought looked evil at first. That person she didn't even know the name and yet…

She started getting out of the sand, the little beads crunching in her sneakers as they were dispersing everywhere, sooner than expected crusted in the dark corners where it would be impossible for her to remove.

She stared as she kept advancing. As if on cue, the little kids started rejoining into a small group and heading to their house probably close by.

They were alone.

But she couldn't stop looking. It was like she was drawn to that smile, that source of joy.

The stranger turned around risking a glance in her direction probably wondering why she looked at him like that, not even bothering to close her eyes once in a while to keep them from getting dry.

The awkward silence that surrounded them was broken by the crunching sound of her sneakers on the ground, rattling it sickeningly.

Madeleine took a deep breath.

 _Alright, this cannot be that difficult, C'mon, you can do it._

"Hello…"

The guy turned his head sideways searching for the person she was spoking to and finally looked back at her as he understood it was indeed him she was addressing to.

He raised his hand in a salute and kept quiet. The smile slowly dropped from his face as it seemed to be replaced by a frown.

 _Well this is awkward…._

"Sorry for the disturbance, sir." She quickly said while heading away.

To chase the awkwardness she felt, she would usually play a melody with her violin. It would take all the negative energy away, but it wasn't close by right now and she still didn't feel like going back home.

She went back to her see-saw and sat the opposite way, to make sure the stranger saw her back, not her face. She started swinging slowly, her face red as a tomato thinking about what she had just done.

As she thought about that, all of her problems resurfaced, the constant fights with her parents, her constant loneliness, everything that made her hate herself so much.

She sighed heavily to cover the sob that was slowly making its way and battled her eyelashes furiously to dry the tears coming in the corner of her eyes. She breathed hard and tried thinking about positive things, which were practically non-existent at the moment.

She tried thinking about her friends that all went separate ways after their last year of high school. She tried to memorize their faces and the great times they had together. Whether it was that time they skipped that big party students had organized after prom and instead crashed at one's house and ate pizza at two in the morning… She memorized how she would always smile in their company, enjoy theirs hugs and reassuring words whenever she was victim of yet again another heartbreak or fight with her evil parents.

A tear silently made her way down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away, letting the gentle blow of the wind against her face dry the rest. It still felt like it was there, but she knew that by looking at her, nobody would actually know that she had cried, yet again.

What she wouldn't do to see them again…

And then she couldn't endure it. She let the tears pour, the little whines of sadness fill in the silence of the place and didn't even bother to blow her nose. The sleeves of her shirt were made for that!

As she heaved her heart, let out all the hatred and sadness all at once, she started breathing bit by bit more evenly and started to calm down. To feel better.

"Are you okay?" a grave voice asked nearby.

"Yeah sure don't mind me" she answered flustered and ashamed, somebody had actually heard her cry. She knew he probably still was in the park, but she never thought he would come up to her and ask about it. It had never happened before, and yet it was the first time she did cry in the middle of the day while the sun glowed and transformed the ugly somber tears into little pearls of rainbow.

"Liar" he simply said.

"Oh shut up you creep!" she sobbed.

She heard distant steps getting closer.

A little thump resonated beside her as the man sat on the other see-saw and started swinging slowly.

The sun caught his shining black hair and a bit of tan skin that wasn't hidden by the massive cap he had pressed down his face.

As he swung harder and harder, getting higher in the sky by the minutes, she swore she saw dark wings spread on his back propelling him towards the world above.

She imagined him dancing in spirals with the stars as a sweet voice accompanied the sound of her violin.

"Jungkook" he breathed softly.

She deported her gaze the other way around.

"Sorry, in which language is that?" she asked taken aback.

The guy sighed heavily and simply answered: "It's in French"

"Hey! Are you taking me for a fool or something" she shot back.

"Maybe"

She glared at him and started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" he inquired, surprise tainting his voice.

"Well for your information, genius, when something is funny, the right way to react is laughing" she retorted.

"But that wasn't funny"

"Well to me it was."

"It was meant to be mean, but hum okay"

"So, your name is… Hmm, forget it I'll never be able to pronounce that."

"Tell me yours and we'll see if mine is that complicated to tell"

"Madeleine"

"Well then, Madeulineu, if I can pronounce your name correctly than you can" he tried.

"But you didn't pronounce it correctly." She snapped.

"Then, I won't bother you if you butcher mine" he answered.

"Nan, I would rather not try. I still have pride you know."

"Then how will you address me?"

"That is if we ever talk to each other again"

"Indeed."

"What about… Kookie?"

"Do I look like a kid?" he asked insulted.

"Yes"

This time, he was the one to laugh.

"See you laughed as well and I have been mean to you!"

"Fair enough"

"So, what do you do for a living, Kookie?" she asked

"Oh, so you decided to talk to me again it seems" he responded.

"Hey, I have nothing better to do, so let's shall we?"

"I am a singer"

"Stop joking. That one really isn't funny!" she said.

"You want to know what the funniest part of all of this is? It's the fact that I am not even joking."

 _Impossible._

 _I asked for a sign and a shot at a music career and faith gives me a weirdo that pretends to be a singer!_

 _And to add to that he is mean and literally barged in my shelter uninvited!_

"Well to be accurate, I used to be a singer"

"Next thing you are going to tell me is that you aren't a singer. Am I wrong?" she shot back.

She couldn't believe it.

"Not planning on doing that" he said looking at the horizon.

"Then prove it" she sighed deeply.

And he started singing.

To say that he was good was an understatement. She felt goosebumps rise on each of her arms as he reached notes she never thought a man with so deep of a voice could. She felt every word the song had to offer. Every emotion he poured in each of the line he delivered with such passion.

She wanted to play the violin more than ever just to get a taste of playing with him would feel like.

But the melody ended too quickly.

As silence installed itself between the too, she couldn't help but clap her hands loudly trying to cope her loss for words at the sight of such talent.

"Thanks" he simply said.

"What do you do for a living?" he added.

"I wish I could be a violinist, but right now I am unemployed."

"Right you told me that yesterday. Such a pain that I can't hear you play at the moment."

"Maybe if you come back tomorrow you'll get that chance" she whispered.

"I would love to."

"Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Kookie" she said as she stood up and marched back in the direction of the metal gate.

As she touched the metal, she glanced back and met his dark orbs.

And then she heard it.

The sound of a bell.

And as her heartbeat accelerated, she wondered if, he too, had heard it.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello! It's me again! I'm sorry it took me so long to update! I was in a lack of inspiration for awhile! We get a bit more of the story of Jk in tis chapter, but I promise you'll get more details about what happened as the story unravels. I know it is cliché, but hey! I like them that way. I hope you do too!

Enjoy! And I hope I'll be able to update soon!

P.S: It would really mean the world to me if you left a review! I like to have your diverse perspectives! If there a re somethings you think I should do to improve, go ahead, tell me! I'll be glad!

* * *

 **JK POV**

My cheeks were red and warm. Their texture was different too. As I was used to the damp feel of the tears plastered on them, I was glad to try something new for once. The feeling occurring in my body certainly was weird. I actually had no explanation to define it. The best way to put it into words would be to compare it to emptiness. But, somehow, that nothingness felt great, replacing the constant sorrow and bullying I made myself endure.

I tried producing a negative thought in my head as I usually would do. Picturing my distorted face, thinking about the multiple scars that marred it, haunting the children's dream, usually did the thing in no time.

And yet…

I guess I could describe it as a veil. A long translucent sheet fogging the torturous world of my mind.

Closing my eyes, trying to clear a path through this labyrinth, I got lost in its blankness. The sufferance had disappeared entirely.

I started to panic.

Why was it that my brain couldn't produce anything born form my imagination, even though it was meant to hurt me in every way possible?

Why was it that my hands gripping the cold metal of the seesaw, weren't even feeling cold?

What was wrong with me?

Then, as if on cue, I heard a feeble sound coming from far away. The thing was barely audible and yet, the more I concentrated on it, the more it grew louder, invading my whole environment.

In seconds the melody had taken the entirety of my world. It was repetitive and rhythmic, and attractive.

I loved its soft thumping reverberating inside of my whole being, or more precisely concentrated around my sternum.

In search of its provenance, I pressed a hand against my chest randomly, lost in the beauty of the night staring at me from above.

And then I felt it for real.

The thumping of my heart, more real than ever.

As far as I could recall, it was the first time such a phenomenon had taken place in my organism. Such an irrational reaction, from which I couldn't understand the origin, had taken place before my bare eyes, as I thought I was just a simple cold rock.

Somber, empty and untouchable.

Fascinated, I pressed harder against my sternum, begging this song to keep on playing, never to vanish into nothingness.

And yet, she decided not to grant my wish. After a certain amount of time, she was no more, like all the things I had ever loved.

I sighed heavily as I pushed myself from the seesaw, deceived by such young hope, being already crushed.

My frostbitten palms were already gripping the comforting insides of my dark hoodie as the ground crunched under my black converse high.

As I made my way home, images of the blast, my doom, surged through my mind, and in no time, hell was back, just as it used to be.

What had engineered that sudden emptiness?

That short truce which had made me believe, for one second that maybe one day, I would find happiness.

Since I had already given up on love, knowing that my disfiguration would be enough to keep everyone away.

I used to think when I was a kid that having the faculty to make people go away with just one glance was quite cool, mostly when you didn't feel like talking or when they were simply insufferable.

But I never thought my wish would be granted.

Having learnt my lesson, I knew that as long as my face kept under the large cap, I would be away from problems.

But one issue still remained.

Madeleine.

What about her?

She was just a mere annoying girl I had met in a park and yet, a part of me didn't want to lose her.

I knew that the chances of having her as a friend had escalated quite quickly with our previous conversation and I didn't want to risk messing it up when I had nothing left.

But then again, as long as she didn't care about my face, all would be fine.

A friend.

Maybe that was the trigger to that sudden change…

I guessed I would know the answer on our next encounter.

Plus, with luck, she wouldn't have lied and I would get a taste of my favorite instrument played live just for me.

Such a long time since I had last sung… I couldn't believe she had made it so simple for me to do it.

After all the pain this simple action had put me through, all the horrendous memories it had brought up…

I guess her presence was beneficial to me.

Maybe a sort of therapy on how to learn to live.

If I was lucky… Maybe even to love.

Shaking these thoughts away from my mind, I kept on walking until I reached the apartment I had been living in for the past two years.

Its somber stature reminded me of myself, always dressed in black, rotting inside with pessimistic dark thoughts.

Windows were fractured. I had done so as I had bought the whole place for myself, in need of space. The web of cracks marring each of them kept me from encountering my reflection once the sun came up.

The mirrors were too out of the question. I had rid of them in no time.

But my greater material loss was my camera. I remembered the numerous montage I used to arrange on my computer. Sometimes, I even happened to look at the way I used to be.

Once a handsome young man with a brilliant future ahead of him.

The sight of it always made me cry, obviously, but since I was living alone, like a mole, chances of people knowing where quite poor.

Since my accident, tragedy, death, in a way, I minimized going outdoors. I made sure to wear a mask going to the groceries in case the miss would call the cops once glaring at the monstrosity I had become.

I was so accustomed to look into people's eyes when I discussed with them…

It was now dangerous for me to do so.

The lock of black hair covering the left part of my face was starting to itch. As I placed it behind my ear, its length long enough to even be brought up into a ponytail, I shuddered.

Under the street lights, I could only see the path ahead from the perspective of my right eye, the other one, no more part of this world.

The advantage of the somber tint of my hair permitted me to half believed that the reason I couldn't see was because of it obstructing my eyesight.

The mask now taken off, I was facing the reality whether it pleased me or not.

I pressed a hand against the rough scarred tissue surrounding it, stifling a cry as my hand encountered irregularities on my once smooth skin.

The image was imprinted in my mind and would forever haunt my dreams.

In the beginning as I was hopeful that a girl might be foolish enough to fall for me, I used to dream about the perfect encounter where the said female would tell me how she liked my scars and thought it rendered me attractive.

I used to believe in those lies, but not anymore.

After seeing babies cry in horror, women call the cops, thinking I was a serial killer, I understood.

I decided to stop torturing myself with fantasies that relied on utopia.

And I started hurting myself mentally.

I was already physically broken, inflicting even more pain wouldn't have even made a difference.

I sighed heavily and opened the unlocked door of my dump. The whole place was a mess. Drawings where covering the entirety of the floor.

All more morbid than the others, but for one which I had had put in a frame. The portrait of a girl my mind was sometimes summoning.

Weirdly, she didn't have a face.

I could only try to put the face of some person I already knew, but it never felt right.

Sometimes I wanted to rip it to shreds, but it took one glance and I melted, somehow attracted to the idea of the existence of such a wonderful being.

My treacherous heart hadn't lost hope.

Yet.

But it was on the verge of doing so.

I went to bed without even bothering to change.

Nobody would know I was wearing the same clothes.

After all, I had no one.

No one who cared about me, and no one to care about.

I was alone.

But to say I liked it would be a lie that I couldn't convince myself of even with all of my willpower.

I closed my eyes and let my mind drift, not restraining it, somehow hoping she wouldn't torture me.

-X-

There was a brunette standing on a seesaw, her back to me. From her posture, I recognize her as the lady from my drawing.

I had baptized her Made, because she was a creation of my imagination.

My fictional self approached the seesaw, not at all in a hurry to take place by her side, knowing somehow that once I would lock eyes with the face, my orbs would stare at a blank space.

Sitting on the seesaw, I felt a reassuring hand pressed itself against my jaw.

I had been in need of physical touch, affection, therefore, since I couldn't get any in reality, I was ashamed to admit that sometimes my brain made me dream of it.

Her soft skin was brushing against mine, expressionless, I could never identify disgust or whatever emotion she might feel.

Her face was always a wonder to me and an endless frustration.

I finally gave in to her touch and turned my face towards her expecting pure white and emptiness as usual.

But I froze as my eyes landed on a violin resting atop her lap.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! Short chapter, but still here! Hope you'll like it! :)**

* * *

 **JK Pov**

I woke up covered in sweat.

I was shaking so badly wondering if the thundering in my heart would cease. I wanted to kill that villainous and corrupted feeling born in my chest. That desire to know what would have happened next. Would features have finally appeared upon her face, indicating me that somehow, some brunette with a violin was the only one for me?

I couldn't believe that.

Wouldn't care about it and move on.

I didn't like that lack of control, that simple euphoria spreading like a small flicker of light growing back from the ashes into a new life.

I wanted that emptiness back because I somehow knew that this joy would end me for good when it would turn its back against me in hatred and sorrow.

Who was that anyway?

Certainly not that girl I met not so long ago in a creepy and dark park that she called her shelter.

That weirdo which played the violin…

Why had a violin appeared out of thin air? I didn't reckon seeing one ever before in my dream.

Desperation was biting at me that was all. My soul couldn't simply let go when an opportunity presented itself to me so nicely.

That probably was what friendship felt like…

Right?

-X-

Madeleine read all day ignoring her frustrated parents as she would usually do. The mole that she was didn't especially care about going out and try making new friends.

Annoyed at their presence in the house and expecting with great joy the moment when they would finally leave to take out her instrument was slowly burning her insides.

She needed to keep her mind occupied, away from thoughts of the stranger.

That bell kept resounding in her head like a faraway rhythm. Weirdly it wasn't annoying. It's soft thumping variated in ranged from high to low in an endless refrain.

The door closed.

She was alone.

Finally.

Descending in the kitchen to grab some quick snack, she ate rapidly and went back in her cave.

Out of inspiration on which song to play, she opted to try that simple composition that kept on ringing in her skull.

Her first composition.

Somehow, the small pressure she applied on the chords as she vibrated with them moved and transported in the music, soothed her.

If…

If she went back to the park tonight, would he be there?

Would he keep his promise and listen to her play just as she did?

Why was she caring so much about some strange emo dude wandering in a park in the middle of the night?

Maybe because aside from the colors of their clothes they were pretty much doing the same thing and acting the same way…

Was she really comparing herself to someone she really did not know?

That was certainly stupid of her.

Lost in her thoughts brought up by the music, she shut her eyes close trying to concentrate enough and empty her mind of his presence.

But somehow, it made it worse.

Now, her mind was recreating each and every detail she had been able to perceive of his face.

She couldn't get a clear image of his face as it mostly was covered by bangs, but the way his mouth twitched when he spoke and the small stubble that covered the end of his chin was telling her enough about his age.

He had told her, but she still didn't feel like trusting him.

At least, she was trying to convince her own self of such a blatant lie.

She hadn't played in front of a lot of people. He should consider himself lucky she ever decided to grant him the wish of hearing her play.

She hated that guy.

Why was he messing her head up like that?

He hadn't even done anything in particular that could have made him any more special than the guys that had tried going out with her before.

He wasn't attractive…

Alright, that was wrong too. She did like the way they both contrasted like the relation between ying and yang, both complementary to each other as an unbreakable team.

She was the melody, he, the words transposing the emotions.

 _Stop right now. These delusions will get you nowhere. Just play tonight and see what he has to say. If positive, befriend him, if negative, use your skills and kick him out of your place._

 _No romance, no relationship if the first case happens._

 _No love out of this._

 _Friends._

 _But…_

Madeleine stopped playing realizing she was hot all of a sudden. Red in the face and sweating, she went and got a glass of cold water which she drank in one gulp.

What was wrong with her?

-X-

The night came in earlier than she would have thought.

Her palms clammy, she pressed her violin against her chest and got out of the house undetected.

The walk to the park was slower than usual as she felt nervous and anxious.

Why was that?

He wasn't dangerous and she knew it.

He could have end her way before that and he chose not to.

That seemed convincing enough.

Reaching the old metal gate, she felt the air leave her lungs as she saw him balancing slowly on the seesaw.

A look in her direction and she would melt completely away.

Why did he have to do this?

Even though she couldn't perceive his dark orbs, she felt the weight of his eyes upon her as she crossed the last barrier between their two beings.

-Hello, she said timidly in order to break the ice.

To that, he simply waved his hand in the air beckoning her to come closer.

-X-

He waited for her to sit by his side.

Before pronouncing a word, he wanted to make sure his voice would not falter.

He was nervous and terrified.

As if she felt the same or sensed that, she simply sat and place her violin underneath her chin.

And started playing.


End file.
